Living With Anxiety
Anxiety is very misunderstood disorder, especially from my point of view.
I think regular people think that chronic anxiety sufferers use the word 'anxiety' as an excuse to get out of things, which is not the case. Everyone has anxiety, but it varies to what extent. People can have general anxiety (which they can cope with) and others can have debilitating anxiety. They're very different.
General Anxiety vs Chronic Anxiety
General anxieties can be a nervousness to do something like travelling, but you're able to get on with it, without stopping, maybe.
For me, a chronic anxiety sufferer, I find it hard to get on a bus. It's hard to explain to people that 'I can't do it', because sometimes it can be misconstrued as a 'laziness' or a conscious choice. It's not that at all. People can't see chronic anxiety sufferers, and thats probably what makes it so 'chronic'.
Consciousness and sub-consciousness plays a big roll in the state of mind of anyone really. As a Chronic anxiety sufferer my conscious wants to do all these normal things, like get on a bus. But my sub-conscious makes me feel like I'm being threatened with death, for-real. And when my brain is in that state thoughts move at a 100 mph, so if someone says 'whats wrong?' or 'you'll be fine' (as kind as it may be) it doesn't really help as my brain is so flustered it couldn't tell you whats wrong and 'you'll be fine' isn't a cure for a 'certain death' feeling.
Chronic anxiety can also be misunderstood because no one can see it. I tend to be quite quiet, which is ironic because my sub-conscious seems to be really loud. To a point this can make me feel worse because I could be quietly suffering but unable to explain it to anyone.
Another thing is that it can make me physically ill. For me it started a few years ago, where I threw up twice every week for seven weeks, we thought it was IBS, because I had pains in my stomach. I felt so sick and worried in the car (not sure what about) as a distraction we'd play I spy, which would work for a while. I remember going to an A&E on holiday in Belgium, at midnight because it felt like I had a appendicitis. They couldn't really tell what it was.
I wake up some morning feeling nauseous, I'm not pregnant, I'm anxious. If I worry about it I throw up, usually water, but it's still unpleasant. I also become tired but restless especially when I'm nervous.
It wasn't until the doctor said 'you have a chronic anxiety disorder'. I knew I suffered anxiety but wasn't quite aware of the extent - thats my sub conscious for ya'!
Dealing with it
Now, there is no sufficient and immediate cure for one person, it's a mental illness and a disability for day to day life for some. It's not an excuse, some people can't help when it gets the better of them. It's also important to understand that strategies and ways of coping whether it's books, counselling or/and medication each person is different. Not all of these will work for one person. Some people prefer to be told what to do, others like me are determined to do something, it's just difficult to.
What not to do...
Say "you'll be fine" it's to casual for some who is hurting inside. "Don't worry" because as if they say "i'm cured!" back to you. I actually get tired of hearing 'don't worry', because I would if I could.
Saying 'what do you expect me to do', if you don't know what to do, say it calmly; like 'i'm not to sure what to do'. They'll understand, because they're in the same position.
A big no no is 'What's wrong?', They won't be able to say.
What to do...
Each person has different coping strategies. Don't ask them for it.
- Have patience and kindness, compassion is always needed. STAY CALM.
- Tell them to take some deep breaths and a sip of water, it can bring them back down to earth.
- Tell them 'it will be alright, take it easy', it's calmer and more relaxing. As anxiety sufferers can feel up tight.
- Slowly start to give them a few options of what to do next. Next steps are important, don't give them what YOU would do though, try and be in their shoes. Because they don't know what to do with themselves they become very indecisive, don't make decisions for them, but be able to give the options. If they can't make a decision, maybe make a decision for them in there best interest. It's difficult to do something on your own.
- Depending on how anxious someone may seem, it's important to put an helping hand out, tell them to take there time sit quietly and make a decision (or come back to them with one). And 'If there's anything I can do, let me know'.
Patience, calmness and kindness is important to anyone you meet
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